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The complexity of being honest over distance

Hey friend,

[I write]

I'm going well!

Tonight I finished my bag at sewing class after months of work, while having a great chat about how funding and discipline works in schools here - I even managed to ask questions, which I feel proud of (I find them the hardest to do well in real-time).

I was nervous about going back this week, because last week when I made a mistake, the teacher told everyone in the class about how stupid it was - well, I think that's what she said, I couldn't really understand what she said, which made it worse - and they all laughed at me.

I held it together until I got to the car and then cried the whole way home.

I don't want to give the impression everyone here is mean, I don't think any of them even thought of it that way, it's just normal here.

Oh gosh, how will our kids survive school here when humiliation is a normal teaching tool?

Hosting house church this week was encouraging, as it didn't wipe us out as much as usual. Finding out the day before that we were going to host it was stressful, and after we cleaned up and cooked all day Saturday, Ben ended up with a migraine, which often happens when he's stressed or worn out.

How can I explain that we wanted to host - and yet it always demands more of us than it did in Australia, than we have to give at the moment? Everything we do costs us so much, and I feel like no one appreciates how much work daily life takes for us.

Unfortunately Ben got a migraine, but the meds worked well.

We even got to share T's birthday cake with everyone! You should have seen people's faces when I brought out dessert “too soon” after the lunch.

T had been waiting two days for another piece of his birthday cake and I didn't have it in me to explain that in French.

We're still learning to navigate French cultural norms, and that makes me feel so obviously “strange” sometimes.

I'm so tired of what I do, or my kids do, being so often seen as either a strange quirk, or rude. And yet I chose to come here, and believe that God has sent me here! Am I even allowed to find the cultural differences so hard?!

I've cried every day for the last 3 days straight because I miss being with people who I know like me, and enjoy my company.

I miss you!

Love Ali